George: "They transmuted me Jerry! Transmuted me!"

Jerry: "I know you needed cash but you can't just sign up for any old alchemical experiment! Those guys got no guild!"

Elaine: "Look on the bright side. Now that you're made of pure mercury, you can sleep in a barrel. Save a ton on rent."

(Kramer enters)

Kramer: Jerry! Jerry! Constantinople just fell to Mehmed II!

remember, it's imperative to turn your aesthetic preferences into moral ones. you can't just dislike neutral colors, or glass-and-steel skyscrapers, or flat design, they have to be symbols of neoliberal capitalism in decay. it's incredibly important that you make sure everybody knows that the only reason anyone could like the things you don't like is that they're an empty shell of a person.

maziekeen